I am very excited about this song. I wrote it over the weekend (In my head) and put it on paper tonight. Now i just have to find a way to work out a melody…I’ve been singing it.. kinda countryish in the shower but I have no idea how I would sing it otherwise. Any ideas? Anyone wanna be my musical hero?

I thought nothing could phase me

Swore nothing you could say would ever change me

Tore out my knees and stole my breath

Left me reeling, with nothing left

You said you had to go

No

No

Yeah, you said you had to go

I was waving stay

I was waving stay

She came to say good bye

And I was waving stay

I was waving stay

Please god, not today

I was waving, stay.

She packed her bags that Friday night

And was gone long before twilight

struck

And I was stuck

In my head I saw every smile she sent my way

Why today?

No No No

She had to go

I was waving stay

I was waving stay

I heard every word she had to say

But I still wanted her to stay

Everywhere I turn

I can still smell her

It’s hell

And every where I look

I still see her….

In the places she once dwelled

In hell

Stay

Stay

She came to say goodbye

With tears in her eyes

Stay

Stay

I wanted to beg her not to go

No No.

No.

She had to go.

I was waving stay

I was waving stay

She came to say goodbye

But I was waving stay

Stay

Stay

No No

She had to go

Stay….stay…

she came to say goodbye with tears in her eyes..

She had to go..

No..Nooooo.

I don’t know what I am hoping for

Maybe, that you will open your emotional door

The flood waters will rush out and tear me apart

Driving me up under and into your heart

I would marvel in the beauty of all that makes you tick

After I am reassembled, not before

That’s sick

Then I will hug you

From the inside

All gooey and gross

Covered in your pride

I will shimmy and shake

Trying to break free

Only to realize

I love your love

And all its stains

On me.

I got this hole in my chest

No matter how hard I press

I can’t stop the hemorrhaging

I see the memories

As they bleed through

Soaking my shirt

With images of me and you

I see the colors fading

My vision, failing

Wishing you didn’t have to go

Silence stacks

You’ve turned your backs

As I sit in silent horror

Watching our friendship bleed out

All over my bedroom floor

I close my eyes, 

I breath no more. 

I look in the mirror

Vacant stare

I do not see me

I see 175lbs extra pounds

Where *I* should be

Self confidence

Abandoned me

Ho-ho factory

Comforted me

I am the creator of my own fleshy prison cell

Now my feet swell

My pride, shrunk

To undo it all

I must climb out of my funk

No more ho-hos

Twinkies be damned

I’m trading in my chocodiles

For carrot sticks and yams

Sorry, ass

But I can no longer sit

For if I stay where I am 

I am truly, a tit. 

No more crying over this body

And doing nothing to fix it

Today

I start over

No longer a fat misfit

But a misfit, indeed

Because that.. is the true me

The me, that longs so badly

To be free.

I hear whispers of you in the hallway

Smell wisps of you in our bed

I feel your touch in my dreams

If only in my head

I ache for those moments

So many, I took for granted

Assuming that tomorrow would come

Together, love making, frantic

What happens when tomorrow collides

With the loss you’ve always feared

What if you open your eyes

Reach out your arms

And find that their not there?

It is cold beside me

In our life long bed

And I swear last night while I was sleeping

I remembered every word you ever said

You’d whisper to me in the darkness

Holding me tight from behind

Losing ourselves in a fit of giggles

Love never hard for us to find

I hear echoes of you in the wind

Taste the flavor of you on my lips

Feel the pressure of your hands guiding me

From there resting spot upon my hips

If I close my eyes it is almost normal

I can almost feel you close… 

Then I feel my fingers tremble

I am in love with your ghost

In love with you

What happens when tomorrow collides

With the loss you’ve always feared

What if you open your eyes

Reach out your arms

And find that their not there?

What becomes of that broken heart? 

That endless void inside your chest?
How can I possibly move on

When you completed me the best?

What happens when tomorrow collides

With the loss you’ve always feared

What if you open your eyes

Reach out your arms

And find that their not there?

What happens when tomorrow collides

With the loss you’ve always feared

What if you open your eyes

Reach out your arms

And find that their not there?

I am so alone

I am so alone

Too scared to go home

I am so alone

Don’t leave me here without you

Don’t leave me in this place

Nothing is the same without you

My dark angel, fallen from grace 

I am so tired of going to google shit and hearing about Katy Perry’s divorce. Or any other celebrity invasion of privacy. These people dedicate their lives to entertaining us and in return when they ask for privacy we pay people to kick in their doors and infect them with our ocd. We know when they pee, we know when they sleep, eat, fly, cry, date, fuck, and fight again. Why do I need to know any of this? Ms. Perry, I do love kissing girls and you are inspiring but I feel you have the right to be a human when I do not have a concert ticket in my possession. Where I am very very sorry your marriage is failing, you and the other half of Hollywood who are also failing, deserve your privacy and I don’t need to know about it. I am sure there is pain, lots of it and it has to be really hard to deal with any of it while doing so in the public eye. I know when I lost love I cried a lot, in public even, because stores play stupidly sad songs and they break the heart all over again. Or someone bites their straw just like he used to. Anything can set you off and you don’t need me judging you because you cried over how I dipped my fries in my soda. 

For fucks sake people.. isn’t it enough they put out music, movies and tv shows? They write books for us to read, leave their families to live in a smog filled town and I never hear them complain. Yet I hear you complain when Pink’s babies picture isn’t put on the web mere moments after she pushes it out. Back off. You would think after losing Princess Diana that people would have learned to let others breathe - everyone needs down time and they shouldn’t have to live in a fortress to get it. I don’t care who Charlie Sheen fucked over or how many children he has. I enjoy him on 2 1/2 men and no matter how much I like Ashton Kutcher, it isn’t the same show. 

All I am saying is that I don’t think people should have every minute of their lives penetrated by the public. We, as a nation, see what happens to these people when we push and pry. They go crazy, become mean, stop acting, stop singing and disappear. Do we really need another Ted Nugent on our hands? Stop the madness. Let them grieve and breathe and eat and laugh without us having to see all of it. Let’s go back to buying tickets, seeing shows, being star struck and letting the stars shine, where they belong, at a distance. 

Ria Goff

I wish I was a genie

Out of my bottle I would come

To grant every single one of your wishes

Leaving no whim of your heart undone

I wish I was a sculptor

Able to create you some grand piece of art

Shaped so perfectly

So aesthetically pleasing

You’d know exactly what’s in my heart

I wish I was capable

Of giving you everything you want

But I am not a genie

and I am not a sculptor

Or a potion maker in a traveling show

No

I am just me

Just everything that you see

Here without my shell

Loving you as well..

As I possibly can..

And Loving you

Is my only plan

So won’t need a sculpture to see into my heart

I’ve installed a window

So that you can see

That the only thing that matters

Is you, for me. 

You won’t be needing that genie, 

no, 

cause let’s be honest, if it was female, i’d be jealous of that ho

Maybe I can’t grant your every wish

Your every desire

But every moment that you love me…

I will set your soul on fire

I will give my passion

My zest

And I promise I will always love

Cause it is what I do best

Oh, how I ache

Another night of sleep I will soon partake in

To wake tomorrow morning

Knowing your name will no longer

Roll easily from my tongue

For our friendship, you’ve undone

Leaving me, the one

Standing back as you take

Ever more steps

Leaving in your wake

Oh, this precious ache

Always

You, my love, own my heart.

Ever wanting

Ever needing

Ever taking

Never leaving

And that is how I know

I own yours too. 

Always.

Your tempature is high

Your skin is flushed

My heart is tied in knots

As to the bathroom, you rush

Emptying out

What you so recently put in

I dislike your virus

Wanna shake your disease

Wanna hold your hair back for you

If you had any

When you are on your weakened knees

I’ll fetch you broth and crackers
Ginger ale if you please

Just get well soon

Losing that greenish hue

So I no longer have to hear you spew

After everything put into your stomach,

New.